Over the winter, each time I looked out the kitchen window, I would see the heap of Lilacs that I had cut down in the fall. It was a constant reminder of a job not done and an eyesore for all who saw it. But yesterday, inspiration struck and I got to work.
Since moving into my parents’ home almost 2-years ago, I’ve become the steward of the yard…the conscious gardener. There is nothing I love more than spending hours barefoot in the garden, tending to the plants and observing the trees. In late summer, after my dad died, I noticed that the Lilacs were trying to get my attention. They were old, dried out and gnarly looking. I could feel them pulling on my awareness, urging me to cut them down, so that they could be reborn with new vitality in the spring. In October, I finally obliged.
Lilacs were my dad’s favourite and as I cut them down, I thought of him. I cried often and prayed a lot. With each downed tree, I felt a sense of mourning, release, and hopefulness. I was cutting away the old to make room for the new, and my dad and the Lilacs were silently cheering me on. But once the work of felling and hauling was done, I was exhausted and could do no more.
Yesterday, when I looked out the kitchen window, I felt an inner-urge to finish the job. I got dressed, lit a fire and got to work. “Chop wood, carry water” was the mantra of the day. I broke down a few trees at a time, carried them to the fire pit and offered them to the flames. Bit by bit, I worked my way through the pile until there was nothing left but ashes and a sense of accomplishment at a job finally done.
This morning, I looked out the kitchen window and smiled. The view has changed and my spirits are lifted.
Today, Love me has found me honouring what has passed and joy-filled for the possibility of what’s to come.